Wednesday, 2 December 2015

Flowing Forward

Depression and anxiety have been daemon accomplices breathing in tandem with me. They translate their warped view of reality into my subjective experience, silencing my anguished cries, leaving me feeling powerless to act.

My work pattern has been dictated by the rhythms of my daemons; they rage rabidly and I am left fearfully paralysed seeking shelter; their bad-wolf snarling calms unexpectedly and I might try to express some emotion, to expunge the voices with some creative endeavour before the fury starts again.

And so it has been for so long.
But with seasons turning and with much time given from those who care about me, there are changes.
I know how lucky I am.



These days I try not to heed the harrowing whisperings. I work more often to my own rhythms.
New ideas for finished pieces are emerging.
I detect new flows.
And that is hopeful.
More than that it is tentatively exhilarating... and I breathe.

7 comments:

ana said...

Beautiful - very poetic - I love your work... : ) x

Maggie Ayres said...

Thank you so much Ana for taking time to read my words and comment x

Kelly Harms said...

Beautifully expressed. I'm glad you're finding your balance. Keep finding your rhythm and making such beautiful art.

christined said...

I think you are very brave to share both your art and your feelings. Being an artist is not an easy path to take in life as your heart and soul pour into your work. I hope you find some inner peace. I enjoy looking at your work and thank you for sharing it.

Maggie Ayres said...

Kelly and christined - thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment here. Your words are warming.

Colette George said...

I've recently discovered your beautiful art. It makes me sad to think of the beauty you create and then for you to be unable to access that beauty. You really are amazing. Depression sucks. I've been there. Best to you. Thank you for the gift of excitement and joy I have receive from your work.

Colette George said...

I've recently discovered your beautiful art. It makes me sad to think of the beauty you create and then for you to be unable to access that beauty. You really are amazing. Depression sucks. I've been there. Best to you. Thank you for the gift of excitement and joy I have receive from your work.