Flowing Forward

By -
Depression and anxiety have been daemon accomplices breathing in tandem with me. They translate their warped view of reality into my subjective experience, silencing my anguished cries, leaving me feeling powerless to act.

My work pattern has been dictated by the rhythms of my daemons; they rage rabidly and I am left fearfully paralysed seeking shelter; their bad-wolf snarling calms unexpectedly and I might try to express some emotion, to expunge the voices with some creative endeavour before the fury starts again.

And so it has been for so long.
But with seasons turning and with much time given from those who care about me, there are changes.
I know how lucky I am.



These days I try not to heed the harrowing whisperings. I work more often to my own rhythms.
New ideas for finished pieces are emerging.
I detect new flows.
And that is hopeful.
More than that it is tentatively exhilarating... and I breathe.

Comments

ana said…
Beautiful - very poetic - I love your work... : ) x
2 December 2015 at 20:08
Maggie Ayres said…
Thank you so much Ana for taking time to read my words and comment x
2 December 2015 at 21:12
Kelly Harms said…
Beautifully expressed. I'm glad you're finding your balance. Keep finding your rhythm and making such beautiful art.
3 December 2015 at 06:15
christined said…
I think you are very brave to share both your art and your feelings. Being an artist is not an easy path to take in life as your heart and soul pour into your work. I hope you find some inner peace. I enjoy looking at your work and thank you for sharing it.
3 December 2015 at 11:16
Maggie Ayres said…
Kelly and christined - thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment here. Your words are warming.
8 December 2015 at 19:18
Colette George said…
I've recently discovered your beautiful art. It makes me sad to think of the beauty you create and then for you to be unable to access that beauty. You really are amazing. Depression sucks. I've been there. Best to you. Thank you for the gift of excitement and joy I have receive from your work.
29 May 2016 at 02:46
Colette George said…
I've recently discovered your beautiful art. It makes me sad to think of the beauty you create and then for you to be unable to access that beauty. You really are amazing. Depression sucks. I've been there. Best to you. Thank you for the gift of excitement and joy I have receive from your work.
29 May 2016 at 02:47
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Spring Fling 2010

By -
Image
There are 3 things that without fail I will cry out as it gets closer and closer to Spring Fling , the Artist's Open Studio Event in SW Scotland this weekend: "I'm not going to have enough work finished in time!" "What if nobody comes?" "What if people think my work is rubbish/a joke/not worth looking at?" This will be my 3rd year and so far, in reality, it's been a grand experience. And so far, none of the above has arisen (at least no one has been harshly critical to my face). Most of my work is made in isolation, so it's always good to meet people who are interested in seeing what I do, and gauging reactions. If you're in the area this weekend, do take the time to pop in and introduce yourself. "Curve" - a sculpture in plaster, scrim and acrylic - click on the image for a larger version
Read more

It's Personal - guest blogging on my husband's site

By -
While my husband, Kim, has been blogging for nearly 5 years, for me it's an entirely new experience. So as a way to introduce me to the people who frequent his blog, he suggested I do a guest post on his site. Because one of the things about his writing style that has always struck me is his openness, I decided to write about the deeply personal approach I have to my art. Do pop over and visit: http://kimayres.blogspot.com/2010/05/maggie-ayres-its-personal.html and feel free to comment or feedback to me your thoughts
Read more

A Studio of My Own

By -
Image
I had forgotten what it felt like to have a space entirely for me, without reference to my lovely family. Joyous. Thrilling. Intoxicating. My virgin studio has two generously large Georgian windows- the light gloriously sublime, reflecting possibilities around the high, white walls and ceiling. It begs me for expansive, bold canvases to honour its space and begin its legend. The floor is bare board and ready to be spilled and spattered upon. Oh the sense of excitement and liberation! Here lies the scene of my new agenda- my expression of self and the abandonment of apology for being less than. It feels like I've been waiting all my life for this heady time, where my story can be rewritten, defined anew by the very existence of a studio of my own. Joyous. Thrilling. Intoxicating.
Read more